Babying Baby

I've been accused of babying Laila too much in more than one occasion.

But to the contrary, I believe that I treat Laila in a more adult manner than other parents.

While other parents act as if the kids are not a thinking and feeling human being, I acknowledge that Laila is her own person with her own desires, comfort or pain levels, a sense of understanding. I understand young children are dominated by the id, by basic and instinctive drives and impulses.

As a parent, it is my responsibility to guide her to exercise control over these instinctive impulses. These are life skills she needs to learn if she is to successfully navigate in the treacherous waters of life.

But I do not expect her to have mastery over the id at this point. Because she does not.

Nevertheless, I show her respect her as I would any adult. I believe she will learn to respect others if she is a recipient of respect herself.

For instance, I do not snatch anything (nothing that poses a danger to herself or others, anyway) away from her. You wouldn't snatch a cell phone from a friend. Why would you snatch a toy from a baby?

I had to teach the New Ate, Aiza, to inform Laila ahead of time what activity is up next so Baby Cat will have time to adjust.

Don't you hate it when you realize you need to abruptly cut an activity you enjoy? Like when you suddenly need to turn off the TV in the middle of an interesting scene? Why should we expect kids to simply accept ending playtime so abruptly?

Don't do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you, so the Bible says.

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I'm no hypocrite, though. There are times when I get upset when Baby Cat gets too testy for me. What I do is basically what I do when I get too annoyed with a grownup and I can't belt out expletives--I stomp off.

This usually happens right before bedtime when I'm sleepy and tired myself and have less patience than I normally do. I'd turn my back on her and just close my eyes and generally act as if she wasn't there.

It's mean, I know. It makes her visibly upset. She sighs or paces around the bed not knowing where to go, or buries her face in her hands.

These episodes don't last for more than a few minutes, but I know those minutes--to a baby with a very limited concept of time and waiting--seem like hours.

She's usually more cooperative after I go through an episode, like a pliant wire ready to be bent to whatever shape I please.

But that hadn't been my intention nor is it a welcome result. I have no desire to break her will. I want to nurture it, as a matter of fact.

Which is why I have to think of an alternative to walking out when I get upset.