Laila and Assunta

Zoos have become an important part of our family weekends.

We've been taking Laila on zoo visits since she was small. It wasn't so much a conscious effort to instill in her a love of nature or animals than it is an effort for her to learn about nature and animals. Our family field trips are always intended to be a learning experience for Baby Cat.
Last weekend we went to Malabon Zoo.

The last time all three of us were there was two years ago at about this same time of the year. Laila was 11 months old then and was only beginning to walk so I had her in a sling. She hadn't started talking yet so showed her pleasure at seeing the big, striped orange cats with big, round eyes and a low pitched hooting much like an owl's. It didn't look like she noticed that she shared my lap with Assunta the Orangutan when we had our photo taken.

This time around, it was evident that Laila enjoyed the trip. She hopped from one holding pen to the other, eager to see what animal was sleeping next-door. baby Cat was curious with all the strange-looking birds and other animals that were there and demanded that they each be named.

It's good that I can still satisfy her with 'Bird' and the 'bird's cousin' or the 'bird's mommy.' It hadn't occurred to me until late in the trip that zoo management put up signs indicating what the animals are called. So much for being a zoo veteran.

But what really was the highlight of the trip was watching the crocodile get fed--he would leap from the water to catch chunks of raw chicken dropped by a zoo employee just a few meters up-- and the photo session with Assunta the Orangutan.

This time, Laila sat with Assunta by herself. She wasn't afraid at all! It was amazing how open to new experiences Laila is. Daddy hadn't posed with Assunta the first time. He still wasn't keen on the idea of posing with her this time.

Laila still talks excitedly and repeatedly about the things she saw in the zoo. That's my reward--knowing that things I want her to learn are sinking in.

The Big Drop

It’s been two weeks since Laila returned to preschool. In those two weeks I’ve been dropping her off before sneaking away when she goes to pack away her stuff in her cubby hole in the back room.

I realize the advice given by child experts is to say your good-byes properly instead of sneaking away. But, believe me, sneaking away works better for us. Formal good-byes and kisses just elicit howls of despair from her. On the other hand, once Laila sees that I’ve already disappeared, she merrily helps herself to her favorite pink wooden tower blocks in one corner of the classroom.


She seems to have taken a liking to Teacher Reg—she’s still not as involved as Teacher Kerin but she’s not at all disappointing as I originally feared—who has funny stories to tell about my Baby Cat. It seems that Laila would scowl, dramatically put her tiny hands to her hips and ominously hiss whenever something, or someone, displeases her.

That’s exactly how Laila is at home. And that’s proof for me that she’s gotten comfortable with her new school setting. At the same time, that is evidence that Teacher is paying attention to the kids. At the beginning, I’d been worried about Laila and her new teacher wouldn’t gel. I’m glad those worries appear to be groundless.

Now, my latest dilemma is whether I’d stop dropping her off at preschool and just send her off to school with Ate. That’s what we did last year and Baby Cat was OK with it. But at the start of this schoolyear I thought I’d get more involved with Laila’s education. Hence, the daily going-to-school routine that ends with me taking her to her seat in class.

Teacher Reg suggested the other day that, since Laila has apparently overcome separation anxiety and adjusted so well, I stop taking her to school. Laila still whines a little when she knows I’m about to make my exit and Teacher Reg thinks the separation anxiety will go away completely when I stop taking her to school.

Her proposal truly is practical since it’ll give me some free minutes to prepare for work. And it definitely will spare Laila from the heartbreak of being left in school while I go off to the office. But now that someone else has mentioned it, my inclination is to keep on dropping Laila at school. Nothing personal Teacher Reg!

I’m still thinking it over. Ultimately, what I want is what would be good for my Baby Cat. But, admittedly, the obstinate me feels like going against better judgment just because I can.

Uniformity

There are arguments for and against having uniforms in school.

Some psychologists say it stifles individuality, which shouldn't be what educators aim for. Others say it helps the child achieve a level of community or oneness with his peers. A more practical assessment would be that uniforms are less costly than ordinary play clothes and spares kids from developing the Keeping-Up-With-The-Joneses mentality too early.

Personally, uniforms are just darn cute.

Mayfield has a mint green dress with two pockets in front and embroidered with a mini-landscape of a hilltop house with trees and flowers and a smiling sun in the right side of the chest. How cute is that.

I remember my own uniform from Stella Maris--a blue and white sailor blouse on top of a blue pleated skirt accented with a bow-tie (for elementary pupils) or a blue necktie (for hihg school). I hated it. It was what I had on everyday. But looking back now, the uniform was rather cute.

The plan is for my Little Laila to don that same uniform when she's old enough. I think I was educated quite well by the Fraciscan nuns--well, by the teachers paid by the Franciscan nuns--and I'd like Laila to have that same privilege as well.

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What I'm concerned about in sending Laila to Stella Maris is, from what I remember, they have a very conservative, strict and traditional approach to education. I'm worried that this kind of school setting would stifle Laila's spirit. I remember they don't allow running in the corridors and boisterous displays--unless during volleyball games--are highly discouraged.

Furthernore, Stella's a relatively big school so their teachers, who handle more than one class at a time, cannot be expected to connect as much with their students compared to teachers and students from a smaller school like Mayfield. Big schools just do not have the personal touch that small schools provide.

But the counter-argument coming from the little voice inside my brain is that my spirited Laila needs a disciplined environment to temper her. She would also benfit from the strict Catholic upbringing.

The voices inside my head have at least two more years to continue with their argument before I have to finally decide which side to take.

Coming Naturally

I've been getting a lot of flak for keeping Laila in diapers up to now. Well, she's not in diapers all the time. Just when we go out and during the night.

Nonetheless there's been a deluge of people telling me that we--meaning I--should begin sending Laila to bed diaperless and just wake her up in the middle of the night to pee.

My sister is very proud that she got her kids out of diapers at age 1 with this technique. A neighbor and Daddy's officemates have given similar testimonials to effectiveness of this method.

The problem is I'm not too keen in getting up in the middle of the night just to drag my little heavy sleeper to the bathroom. Laila is really difficult to rouse. And, once she wakes prematurely, very difficult to put to bed.

Another problem is that I don't wake up too easily myself. So chances are Laila would be having an 'accident' in bed and I'd get awakened--she'd still be asleep--by a puddle of pee slowly soaking me. I'd have t change her clothes, spray the bed with alcohol, change the sheets.

I'd be cranky, Laila would be cranky, Daddy would get the brunt of our crankiness and we'd all lose sleep. Nobody wins.

So I keep her in diapers at night.

I sternly believe that she'll toilet train herself when the time comes that she's physically ready. I don't think she'll willingly wet or poop on herself when she understands that she needs to go.

I think that time has come or is dawning at least.

For the last two days she's gone to class without her diapers. Laila hasn't had an accident so far. And this morning I saw that the diaper she used last night hadn't been soiled, the second time in a couple of days.

I've also noticed that, recently, Laila looked serously uncomfortable when she pees or poops in her diaper. When she pees, she'd sit down wherever she was and pee as if she had no diaper on. When she poops, Laila would do a cowboy walk as if she didn't want the soiled diaper to touch any part of her.

I don't think we'll be retiring the diapers tonight or tomorrow night. Laila will be toilet-trained when her bladder's good and ready even if I don't push her. I know that's just around the corner.

Back To School

My Baby Cat has gone back to school.

Her first day was remarkably a toned down of version of last year, when both me and Daddy and the Ate took her to class.

This morning it was just me and Ate. I lingered a bit to see how she’d take it. She’s in a new school and my Baby Cat takes her time adjusting to new people and a new environment.

Laila started to cry when she sensed I was about to leave but eventually quieted down when Teacher Ge (a her) announced it was time to wash hands before snack time. My Baby Cat jumped down from my lap and skipped to the pantry, not minding the queue of tots that lined up before her.

I sneaked out of the room and watched her from the window. I heard her ask ‘Where’s Mommy ko?’ but appeared content when told that I’d gone out. Later I was told that she participated well in class and was not bashful at all.

Her sole complaint, if you could call it that, was that one classmate—I’m guessing the tiny shy girl seated next to her—refused to play with her.

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I have complaints of my own. I don’t want to be one of those Mothers who kiss up to Teacher nor do I want to be one of those Moms who badger Teacher about school stuff.

However, I have noticed that Laila’s New Teacher seems to be less attentive and welcoming than Teacher Kerin from Nest.

The first day Laila went to class last year, Teacher Kerin was at the door greeting the students and making them feel welcome. This morning, Teacher Ge was fiddling with something on her desk and not minded the kids coming in.

At one point, Laila asked her what she was putting on her arms and Teacher answered ‘lotion’ without looking at her. To me, it looked as if Teacher didn’t fully acknowledge who asked the question.

Bluntly put, it was rude of her to do that. Children, even those as young as toddlers, should be given as much respect as adults when they say or ask something.

I wish I could put Laila back at Nest. My Baby Cat really blossomed there. But the tuition’s just too darn expensive.

Wants

At 2.11 years, Laila seems to have developed certain expectations of, or better yet from, me.

Take last night. She was her same exuberant self when I came home. She was jumping all over, asking to be picked up, locking me in an tight embrace that would do a python proud.

Except that she has added this line to her I'm-so-glad-you're-home greeting: 'San salubong ko?'

She actually expected me to bring her something from work! I was taken aback not only because I brought her absolutely nothing but because I had been thinking exactly just that--that maybe I should bring her something.

It's not unusual for Daddy Alvin and me to bring Laila something, anything, as pasalubong. It can be a P20 toy we buy from the MRT station or a more expensive book or trinket from the mall. Self-righteous me, I once told myself I don't want Baby Cat started to get too used to receiving pasalubong from us. I didn't like the idea of giving her too much stuff, worried that she'd turn out a materialistic and uncaring ogre. I didn't want her to take the gifts she receives for granted.

But I think we crossed that line long ago and not even noticed it. She has tons of stuff. All of it I am sure would help shape her as an individual. And about 90 percent of it gather dust in the toy room/computer room.

Question now is what we do about it. Do I continue buying her stuff that I think would help her develop into a rounded human being or do I stop this manic shopping spree?

Another big question is how do I stop it? Laila's an only and I really want to give her the best I can.

Daddy Alvin thinks I buy Laila stuff not because she wants them but because I want them for her. Perhaps.

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Anyways, I led her to the ref and took out a small piece of chocolate, telling her it was my pasalubong.

She gobbled it up and asked for more, going directly to the ref where we kept the chocolates. I told her she's had enough, warning her of cavities and that the Dentist disapproves of cavities.

Undaunted, Laila put her hand to her neck, complaining that it hurt and that only chocolates could make her well. 'Sakit neck ko, gamot yan,' she said.

Aba!

Bedtime

I've been away the past couple of days on assignment. And, every night, as i struggled to sleep in that impersonal double bed, I think of Laila.

I imagine her snuggled close to me, her head resting on my right arm. I imagine smelling her hair while strands tickle my nostrils a bit. Then she'd wrap both her arms around my neck, snuggle even closer and whisper her breathy whisper 'Mummy ahyabyoo.'

She does that every night. Melts my heart everytime.

Thoughts like that keep me sane when I'm away. It's no toruble being on a business trip during the day. You're always busy and work keeps you from thinking of anything else. But when everything's done for the day and there's nothing left to do but sleep, then the fact of being alone finally hits you.

It's hardest the first time you lie down on the bed and the cold sheets embrace you. The clock ticks by slowly. The minutes seem like hours. Then you realize that it's been over an hour since you first laid down. Sleep is elusive. And, when it finally comes, is light and easily interrupted.

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When I got home, I thought Laila would be asleep. She was not. She was inside the room with Daddy.

She bolted from the room and flung herself at me, arms stretched out calling out 'Mummy! Mummy!' She embraced me tightly and insisted to be carried. Ahh, the things we live for.

It's been two nights since I got back. Laila and I are back to our nighttime routine.