'Mother'

I'm no longer Mommy or Mom for now. I'm 'Mother'.

I assume Baby Cat's picked it up from one of the US shows she watches. I just find it funny--and, to others, I suppose, strange--because here you only call someone 'Mother' as part gay lingo.

Laila's been attracting amused stares by calling me 'Mother.' My sister simply shakes her head, saying my little girl is so bading. And she means that in the most endearing way possible.

What I find truly hilarious is that, of course, Laila is unmindful of the attention she attracts whenever she calls me 'Mother' outside the house.

It is unusual, I admit, for a Pinoy kid to call parents 'Mother' and 'Father.' Daddy Cat is still 'Daddy' most of the time. But I'm consistently 'Mother.'

I find it terribly amusing. I can only imagine what's going on in that cute little head of hers.

Lost Time

I've been awfully tired this week. Typhoon Frank brought so much devastation that the office couldn't ignore the story.

Driving back to Manila after a weekend with my parents, I was already working the phone. The following days was a blur of Lucena where the survivors were, the NDCC, and then Sibuyan Island in Romblon for the shipwreck.

The nights I would get home, Laila would already be asleep. I would kiss her and whisper in her ear that I'm home. She would stir a little, give me a drowsy smile and then pull my face close to hers with those silky soft arms of hers.

Then we'd both fall asleep, my nose buried in her hair that still smells of the kuto shampoo from that morning.

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But Baby Cat got a treat from me. As I said, I've been feeling tired so I finally decided to take a break.

'You're home! Mommy, my Mommy,' she exclaimed pressing her cheek against mine.

The whole afternoon as 'Mommy this' and 'Mommy that.' When she woke up from her nap, she called out 'Mommeeee...Mommeeee...'

There are times when I might find 'Mommy this' and 'Mommy that' tiresome, but not today. I've been busy and tired the whole week. An corollary feeling to that is one of guilt for being unavailable to her most of the time.

So, today, she can 'mommy this' and 'Mommy that' all she wants and I'll be 'Yes? I'm coming!'

Daddy's coming home...Yay!

Daddy Cat called to say he's in the pier waiting for the ferry that would take him from Samar to Bicol. In a couple of hours, we wouldn't be separated by a body of water anymore. Yay!

Daddy Cat's gone home to the province to attend the funeral of his Lola. I would have loved to go with him, but the two-week leave I took recently just makes it impossible. But I would have loved to go. Laila hasn't even been there.

It would've been great if she could meet her cousins. It's already a pity she never got to see her great-grandmother. She would've loved the kids and the beach.

But at least this weekend we can go home to my parents for the weekend. Her Kuya Utoy and Austin will be there and we would definitely be hitting the beach. Yay!

Daddy Cat should be home by the time Baby Cat returns from school. She'd be so surprised!

Fever

Baby Cat has been feverish for two night now.

'Feverish' because the thermometer tells me that her temperature is just normal, but my palm, pressed against her forehead or neck, tells me it isn't. Being the reasonable Mom that I am, I believe my palm.

Made her stay home from school yesterday, on the condition that she doesn't watch TV. I don't want her to enjoy staying home from school too much by letting her watch TV all day. I didn't tell her that of course. I told her she's sick and watching TV would make her eyes go owie.

She believed my explanation (= lie).

Baby Cat still felt warmer than usual last night even though our thermometer tells me different. It must be broken.

But I sent her to school nonetheless. She seemed happy to go, knowing that she can watch a marathon of Tom and Jerry cartoons afterwards.

I can never understand how these fevers of hers start. The books say fevers could be asymptomatic of another infection, so I never take fevers too lightly. The more experienced Moms say that fevers are just part of growing up and I shouldn't panic. The doctor already warned me against giving her fever

But I always fret anyway.

Homesick vs. not homesick

I feel guilty. i haven't blogged for over a month. To me, that's like saying I haven't seriously focused on Laila for over a month.

But that's an accurate description of how I've been the past two weeks, though, since I've been away on a seminar of sorts. But I don't have a good excuse why I wasn't able to write about her prior to the trip.

I remember snippets that I've been meaning to write about. I just can't remember them right now. Which was what this space was supposed to do: prevent me from not remembering.

It's like I lost one month of her childhood. And it's nobody's fault by my own.

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The two weeks I was away, I have to admit, I was half missing Baby Cat, half not minding I was away. I thought I'd be more homesick, that I'd be so miserable I wouldn't be able to eat or sleep.

I had trouble sleeping, but that was because of jet lag. I lost some weight, but that was because I couldn't find any rice.

Does that make one a bad Mom? When you're not miserable while away from your kid?

I was excited as hell when it was time to come home, though. Really excited that I passed up a free, all expense-paid night in Tokyo.

Tcht.