The New Ate

Our new Yaya, or Ate as we prefer the help to be called, reported for work yesterday. The other Ate--20-year old Dayene--is going home to Ili-Ilo to start her own family and will be leaving this Saturday. That gives Laila three days to get used to the new Ate--Daylene.

They seem to be hitting off well. I left work early yesterday and was there when the new Ate arrived. Laila eyed her warrily at first, but started engaging Ate Daylene soon afterwards. I think it helped that I was there to introduce them. I guess Laila thinks that if Ate Daylene has my recommendation then the girl can be trusted.

And, having gone to preschool, I think Laila has gotten used to seeing strangers from time to time, what with some Mommies and Daddies popping in for a look-see what their kids are busy with. Maybe Laila is also in that stage where she doesn't eye strangers with as much suspicion as she did before.

As I've said in an earlier post, that worries me a little. She seems to be a little too friendly. While I want her to grow up confident, unafraid of people and with a healthy interest in other human beings, I want her to learn that she can't always trust strangers. That's a key to surviving urban life. I might sound like I'm teaching her not to trust people here. But I only want her to have a healthy fear, or at least warriness, of people she doesn't know. The crimes we hear about everyday and suffer from time to time should be enough justification for my concerns.

But going back to the new Ate, she and Laila only have three days (and counting!) to get used to each other. Laila's a little playful. The new Ate said she's taken cared of other kids, both younger and older, and she doesn't think it'll be too hard taking care of my little bundle of unstoppable energy. They seem to be hitting off well. She and Laila were already playing together last night and Laila was sitting close to Ate Daylene while I prepared for work this morning.

I hope Ate Daylene stays longer though. We've already had at least five Ates babysitting Laila since she was born. Aside from two--we terminated one because she's takes extended weekends off while another went on an unannounced three-day holiday with her girlfirend--we had good relationships with the Ates.

Laila is particularly fond of Ate Mari, who had gone home to Samar to take care of her own 3 young daughters. Laila still remembers that Ate Mari kissed her in the underarm--something I do everyday as part of my going to the office ritual--before boarding the taxi that will take her to the bus station.

I am terribly indebted to the Ates. Without them, I wouldn't be able to continue working the way I do. And without work, Laila and I wouldn't enjoy the same lifestyle we do. Let's face it. In the Philippines, a one-income household is good only for subsidizing the basics. If I don't work, we wouldn't have extra spending money for the so-called 'luxuries' like Laila's new doll or books or art and crafts materials. Really, those are the only real luxuries Daddy Alvin and I are keenly interested in these days.

But what I don't like about having an Ate is that Laila has gotten used to having things done for her. Cousin Claire wrote about teaching her two-year old Marcus to help with the chores by letting him pick up his toys. Laila sometimes helps pack away her toys when I tell her. But most of the time she acts as if she doesn't even hear me. She has this 'Huh? Who? Me?' look when I tell her to pack away her stuff.

I don't want Laila to grow up not knowing or, worse, not wanting to do things for herself. I don't like house chores either. But, outside the house, I am quite adept at surviving and thriving. Laila might not enjoy working inside the house either when she grows up, but as long as she's not a bum and is spending her time productively elsewhere, then I wouldn't have any objections.