Holy Week Blues

We went home to Nasugbu for our traditional Holy Week getaway last week.

I've been waiting and dreaming for this holiday since Christmas and I was a little disapointed that it breezed by so fast I barely had time to savour it. Hardly had the extended weekend started--we left Manila before 6 am Thursday--when all of a sudden it was time to go home again (Sunday before lunch).

I really don't want to remeber Lenten holiday 2007 for my disappointment over too short a holiday, but I can't help it. I'd been salivating for the days that I could stay with Laila for a full 24 hours for far too long. And when it came, the clock seemed to tick much much faster than normal.

Oh I am a melancholy soul, I admit, pining for what I long for instead of what I already have. I just can't help it.

It's not that the vacation was not as memorable as I planned it would be. It was.

We went swimming in the beach everyday. Tthe times we weren't in the beach were spent submerged in Laila's kiddie pool. And we made fruit shakes and played games and accomplished the customary activities I've grown up with--the Friday procession and the visit to the Lumang Simbahan and the new church.

But, somehow, those four days didn't seem to be enough. Laila had caught something and was barfing and pooping without let up since Saturday so I didn't go back to work till Wednesday, and still that wasn't enough.

What is it about this job of being a Mom that I can't seem to get enough of? It can't be the gazillions of diaper changes or the endless wrestling matches Laila and I have. But then, it must be the gazillions of diaper changes and the endless wrestling matches we have. It's those lame, tedious and smelly chores that I wish I could do. It's the time I spend with Laila. Reading to her, singing to her, playing with her.

Speaks something of me that I feel cheerless after a long weekend with the family, doesn't it? Who's that who said to live for the moment? I think I've gotten too used to dreaming of spending time with Laila that when I do get to be with her, I can't enjoy it as much because I know moments like that are limited and few.