Smitten Over Spidey

Laila's taken to fancy a little spider she found crawling on the guestroom/Ates' room window.

When she said she'd like to take a closer look, I thought she meant she wanted to go outside, shove her face close to the spider in an attempt to stare it down and scream heartily and scamper away when it twitches just even one of its legs. But nooooo. She wanted a CLOSER look at the spider, closer meaning catching the spider and putting it inside a clear plastic container and rest her face flat on the makeshift critter prison.

I thought it was Ate's idea and I chided her for it. But it turned out it was Laila's. I couldn't even convince my little spider enthusiast to open the canister to a little to let some fresh air in. She was afraid her little friend would escape and bite whoever was closest.

I was taken aback. I never played with spiders when I was little. I adopted stray cats and a maya that fell of its nest, but I never intentionally caught something wild and against its will. I thought, and still do, think it's cruel.

And here comes Laila. Of course she's just two. I can think of a whole set of excuses for her wanting to keep it. And she is captivated by spiders as a result of adoring Spiderman. We kind of started her interest in spiders, well in 'Stiderman.' She was less than a year old in this photo and she's already wearing a 'Stiderman' shirt. All three of us were wearing Spiderman shirts the day that photo was taken.

Nevertheless, alarm bells inside my head went off. Could this set a precedent and she grows up to be cruel to animals? Will she be tormenting the neighbor's cat or frying ants with a magnifying glass?

I honestly don't think so. But I can't stop myself from obssessing over how we're raising her and what she will grow up to be. Partly to blame for my excessive worrying, I believe, is because I'm me. I worry that the sky will fall today.

And then there's my sister, who's a Single Working Mom and even lives away from her kids most of the week. And yet she seems pretty satsfied over how her kids are turning out. Well, either she's confident or work keeps her too spaced she doesn't have the energy to think about her parenting.

Ate's only girl and the second to the youngest are staying with me for the summer. She doesn't drops an occassional phone call but apart from that, she hasn't come to visit all week. Of course she' knows the kids won't come to any harm under my watch. But if it were Laila somewhere else, even if I know that she's in good hands, I'd still worry.

I consciously try to be a more easy-going Mom, I really do. I want her to grow up confident and independent after all. If only there's a way to do that in a controlled environment.